I Am Afraid
by anxious.soul
Summary: Tony's conversation with Lady Death. PREQUEL to 'I Am Ready'. Minor Pepper and Pepper/Tony


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers **

**NOTE: This is the PREQUEL to 'I Am Ready' that no one asked for. ****This should probably be read alongside 'I Am Ready' but it might not be all that necessary. Whilst this story technically comes first, there's no specific reading order.**

**Cross-posted on my AO3 with a collage.**

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He couldn't sleep that night. Then again, he hadn't been able to sleep much since Thanos' Snap.

He, along with everyone who'd survived, had been looking for ways to reverse the Snap and to bring the world back. Ideas had varied from time travel to simply using the gauntlet. They'd scoured through Midgardian books, ancient and thought to be lost, along with whatever other books they could find on their numerous patrols into space to some of the closest planets. They still couldn't find the answer they were looking for and Tony was slowly losing himself to the madness of their apparent failure.

One day, Thor returned with a tomb several millennia old. It didn't have the answer that they needed. But it had an answer for Tony.

Deciding that sleep would never come to him that night, Tony gently left his and Pepper's bedroom, making sure not to wake her (or anyone else) as he left and wandered the corridors of the Compound to the living space that had essentially been converted into their researching office/space. Softly making a cup of coffee and sitting down before the large Asgardian book, he opened it and found an incredibly useful contents page. He flipped carefully to the page he needed, for some unknown reason he felt compelled to do this. It was as though there was something in here that _needed _him to read it. He faintly recalled Thor saying something about why the text was all in English, but Tony couldn't remember his explanation, only that he was grateful that he'd actually be able to read the text.

He came to the correct page and something soared between him and the text before him. Something almost magical that Tony couldn't understand and part of him believed he was hallucinating. His fingers skimmed across the title; '_Lady Death', _it read with an elegant and cursive font. He recognised that name. More so than one would simply recognise the wording. He _knew _this primordial being.

Before he could continue to read, his eyes grew heavy and his head slowly lowered to the table as the darkness settled and he fell into a much needed slumber.

**—****LINE BREAK—**

Cinnamon eyes blinked rapidly as they took in the overwhelming darkness and coldness of the room that was most definitely not where he had fallen asleep. Light seemed to flow in as his eyes rested on a throne of darkness etched with death. A woman cloaked in twilight was draped across with a crown as dark as her hair perching atop her head. He couldn't help but shiver slightly at the power that rolled off of her in waves.

"You need not be afraid." Her voice was low yet echoed across the vast and empty room.

"I am not afraid." He answered her and she smiled as though he'd passed a test. She stood and he felt compelled to bow. She shook her head.

"You are a friend, Anthony." She murmured walking towards him.

"Yet you are the epitome of the end, Lady Death."

"That I suppose is true." She waved her hand and the two were sitting in comfortable armchairs, Tony held a cup of coffee. "I know you are not here simply to converse, Anthony."

"I believe you know why I am here, Lady Death."

"I do, but I wish to hear your reason." In her own hand, a crimson liquid swirled in a wine glass before looking at Tony expectantly as she took a sip.

It took a few minutes before he spoke. The words in his mind jumbled yet sparse as he tried to form sentences.

"Every time you've stopped me from dying, you've said it was not my time. There was always an underlying tone of 'yet'. For obvious reasons I ignored it knowing that I would die one day as I am a mortal and we all pass on eventually." He took a sip of his coffee and thought about his next sentence, Lady Death said nothing, she merely stared at him with soft eyes and the hints of a smile. "Thanos, the Mad Titan." He started once more, adding the latter of the sentence in case she didn't know.

"I know of him. How could I not when he has made my work so much more difficult?" She murmured and gestured for him to continue.

"He spoke of destiny a lot. I believe his exact phrasing was '_Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same', _at the time, I was a bit too preoccupied to think about it then, but…but after everything happened, I remembered what you said to me the first time you saved my life. You told me it was not my _destiny _to die just yet." She didn't look surprised as the man began to piece together an invisible puzzle of her creation.

"And?" She prompted gently. He stood abruptly, rubbing at his temples.

"It is not my destiny to die unwillingly by mortal hand." He whispered with a gasp as he turned to look at Lady Death, "It _is _my destiny to die _willingly _by _immortal _hand." She nodded almost solemnly.

"I told you once upon a time that there will be a time when you have a choice to make. The hardest choice you would ever know." She started moving towards the frozen man and wrapping her arms around him leading his face to her neck. "I told you that there were things beyond your understanding at the time and that you'd learn of them as the situation makes itself known." She grabbed his face almost maternally and held his cheeks looking him in the eyes as he shed a tear or two. "My sweet Merchant, this is the time I was speaking of. A price will always have to be paid and I'm afraid that such an outcome demands a high price."

"Why me?" He whispered, "What use am I to something this big?"

"My dear Merchant, you are the start of a decade beyond your imagination. None of this would've come to pass had you not stepped into the role of a superhero. Thanos would've killed all and no one would've stopped him."

"But we haven't! We failed!" He exclaimed and she just continued to hold him,

"Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail at first." She whispered, "To restore the universe and end Thanos, the price paid must be your life." Her voice was quiet as though she didn't want Tony to know.

"How long would I have?" He asked and Lady Death noted with a wave of sadness that the man didn't hesitate for one second at the knowledge of him being the price.

"However long you need. I will not collect you until you are ready. Until you have made your farewells and seen your family back."

"I'll do it." She seemed to hesitate at his answer before placing a kiss to his forehead.

"I am sorry, my sweet Merchant. My dear Anthony." She looked at his eyes, searching for _something, _"Are you afraid?" She asked but before he answered she was gone and so was the room.

**—****LINE BREAK—**

Tony woke with a start. He was back in bed and Pepper was still fast asleep. The sun was rising slowly and the genius just sat up in his bed watching it through the crack in the curtain as he wiped at his tear stricken cheeks and watery eyes.

"Yes." He whispered looking away and down at his beautiful wife, at the gorgeous woman that had been forever by his side, "I am afraid."

"What you say?" Came a sleepy voice from beside him,

"Nothing, honey, go back to sleep." That was all Pepper needed before she faded back into the realm of Morpheus. He stroked her hair before getting up. He had videos to make. "I am afraid."

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**Here's my tumblr if you're interested, it also has the story collages: anxious- - -soul (no spaces between the dashes but sucks and wouldn't allow the dashes without spaces)**

**Anyway,**  
**Thank you for reading,**  
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